Join us at FAFO Seasons Restaurant, where the house specialty is always crow - served hot, or cold. MAGAs who’ve rediscovered shame and common sense are always welcome.

Founded in early 2025 during the Great F*ck Around Find Out Season of Trump 2.0, FAFO Seasons Restaurant was built as a sanctuary for Sane Americans who kept the faith, carried the facts, and waited patiently for history to prove them right (again). For years, they endured being attacked as “too woke,” “too sensitive,” even “anti-American.” Meanwhile, MAGAs were too busy worshiping Trump, spewing hate, and obsessing over “owning the libs” to notice their country crumbling around them. The Left quietly collected receipts and set the table for the day reality would serve the check.

Those days are finally here. And like any good restaurant, we reserved you a seat.

At FAFO Seasons, every cocktail is crafted for the Left to savor vindication, while MAGAs get a heavy pour of humility and regret, garnished with hard facts. Our house blend? Bottomless MAGA Tears.

But FAFO Seasons is more than a restaurant. It’s a quiet movement, a kitchen for resilience, and a table for anyone who fights for equality and justice while the other side drowns in hate and delusion. It’s proof that fascism will always fail, and that the arc of justice, like a fine wine, only grows bolder with time.

So raise a glass, laugh a little too loud, and savor every drop of irony. At FAFO Seasons Restaurant, the specials never end, the MAGA tears keep comin, and the receipts? They’re always on the house.

Menu

Starters

• Crow Crostini — Bite-sized servings of crow on toasted bread, topped with a spread of truth and a drizzle of reality. *Reserved for MAGAs only.

• Receipt Rolls — Freshly wrapped facts, filed and saved for just the right moment. Served cold, but they sting hot.

Signature Cocktails

• The MAGA Orange Apology — A crisp orange blend with cherries, citrus slices, and a salty rim. Best enjoyed slowly, while scrolling regret posts.

• The Humility Spritz — Effervescent fizz with a splash of defiance, courage, and a twist of lemon.

• MAGA Tears on the Rocks — Chilled to perfection, harvested fresh from broken cult dreams. A crisp, salty sip of poetic justice.

Entrées

• Filet of Fascism (Well-Done) — Overcooked, underseasoned, and no longer in style. Served with a side of “We Told You So.”

• Democracy à la Carte — Simple, resilient, and always fresh. Best paired with endless vigilance.

• The Patriot’s Platter — Freedom fries, truth burgers, and equality slaw — because real patriotism feeds everyone.

Desserts

• Delusion Soufflé — Fluffy on the outside, empty on the inside, and quick to cave in.

• Justice Cheesecake — Rich, layered, and best when shared.

• Freedom Fudge Sundae — Topped with progressive sprinkles and a cherry of accountability.

House Specials

• The Red Hat Combo — Comes with nothing inside. Empty calories, cult seasoning, with a side of lies.

• Crow — Served hot or cold with a drizzle of FAFO sauce. Always fresh, always deserved. *Reserved for MAGAs only.

• Bottomless MAGA Tears — Free refills after 5pm. Pairs well with every entrée.

Hungry for more? Take a piece of FAFO Seasons home with you. Explore our MERCH COLLECTION — wine glasses, mugs, tees, and more, all infused with the same flavor of vindication.